I spent much of last night sitting around the apartment and crying. My boyfriend saw what I was like but didn’t even ask me why, because he’s actually getting used to this by now (and that’s never a good sign).
Last night when I was going to sleep I felt a little more relaxed than I had for a while, and managed to fall asleep at a fairly decent hour, rather than 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. Ah, but then I woke up at 5:00, which is when my boyfriend and the cat are usually up, but I couldn’t fall back asleep. Instead, I lay in bed for an hour listening to the latest episode of The Long Shot Podcast, which was making me laugh until I cried (only the first part of that is normal).
So then when it looked like sleep was beyond my reach, I decided to get up and stay up. Now I’m bouncing off the walls with restless energy. I called my boyfriend at work just before getting in the shower to say that I was feeling so crazy that I was seriously thinking of walking to work, even though a) I haven’t done that since the last transit strike and b) IT’S 24 DEGREES OUT. And I was all, like, ha-ha, can you believe that? Now you’re the rational one here, Honey. Do you want to talk some sense into me and talk me out of it?
At which point, there was a long and uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone.
And I was, like … oh fuck. He does think I’m crazy. He does think that walking to work when the temperature is below freezing might be good for me and might help me to calm down. And maybe it will … or maybe I’ll crash and burn, staying up and active for most of the day and then keeling over in the middle of my teen program this afternoon. We shall see.
Anyway, they make thermal underwear for a reason. Now let’s see how this goes …
[ETA (the next day): Walked to work and survived it. Depending on my mood and my schedule, I’ll probably end up doing it again some mornings. But I’m definitely NOT going to do it again in fashionably high-heeled boots, though.]