The frequency of spam comments on my blog tends to ebb and flow. Sometimes there are only a few, and sometimes there’s a deluge (I suddenly got over 50 the other day). Luckily, my spam filter catches most of them, and I catch the rest, so you guys never get to see them. Until now.
I decided to share some of my favorite spam comments, which I’ve been copying and pasting into a draft post for the last few months. Part of the entertainment value for me is found in the names of the supposed senders. Patriot Water Heater thinks this is a fascinating conversation? Amazing Computer Service feels “truly privileged” to have seen my blog? Cupolas N More has bookmarked my blog? Divorce Lawyer Lancaster PA thinks that it is definitely stimulating to read materials from other authors? Click Here For Info feels that “there are some attention-grabbing points on this article”? How to Pass a Drug Test says that “our entire community will likely be grateful to you”? Hemmorhoid Home Treatment decided that I needed some some vague constructive criticism and chimes in with “Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles?”
But my favorite part of spam comments are the comments themselves, or rather, the psychology behind them. Some are nurturing and supportive (You’re the best ever! You’re smart! You’re brilliant! You’ve hit the nail on the head!) Some mix support with criticism (Your blog is good but … you should have more links / I don’t entirely agree with you / your blog isn’t working correctly in ________ browser). Some are critical in a strangely passive-aggressive way (I can’t understand why your blog isn’t more popular!) And some are just totally frigging incoherent. But in any case, ALL of these spammers are writing comments that they hope you’ll read and post on your site!
Here are a few highlights from my spam filter that you might find entertaining and/or bewildering:
SUPPORTIVE AND POSITIVE / I THINK YOU’RE SMART SO I’M GOING TO ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE:
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- Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like
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- Hello, i feel that i saw you visited my site so
i came to return the prefer?.I’m trying to find issues to improve my site!I guess its adequate to use a few of your ideas!!
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I opted in for your Feed as well.
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That is the very first time I frequented your website page and to this point?
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Where else may just I am getting that type of
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- Some truly howling work on behalf with the owner of this internet site , dead wonderful topic matter.
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- I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase. [At least, I’m pretty sure this comment is positive, but it might be blurring the line into the other categories, too].
NEGATIVE / CRITICAL / PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE:
- I do agree with all the ideas you’ve introduced to your post. They’re very
convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too
brief for starters. May just you please extend them a bit from next time?
Thanks for the post.
- Hey there, I think your site might be having
browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks
fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some
overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, amazing blog!
- Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at …
- Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this,
like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few
pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
- Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
The words in your post seem to be running off the screen in Safari.
I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d
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I had been wondering if your web hosting is
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- This is a comment to the webmaster. I came to your “Catching Up With a Boatload of Movies A Case for Books” page via Google but it was difficult to find as you were not on the first page of search results. I know you could have more traffic to your website. I have found a website which offers to dramatically increase your rankings and traffic to your site: _____________________ I managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using their services, you could also get lot more targeted visitors from search engines than you have now. Their service brought significantly more traffic to my site. I hope this helps, happy new year!
- I mean, what you say is important and all. However imagine if you added some great graphics or videos to give your posts more,
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- What i do not realize is in reality how you’re now not really a lot more well-liked than you might be right now. You’re so intelligent. You already know thus significantly in relation to this topic, produced me in my opinion consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be fascinated unless it is one thing to do with Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding. At all times take care of it up! [Okay, this one partially crosses over into the next category, which is …]
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- Children Guy Includes Sarah Palin As Special,
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The show uses frequent cutaway gags, often inside form of tangential
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