Mr. H. is gone.  I got a copy of his funeral arrangements today.

This morning I heard the sound of breaking glass, but I didn’t know where it was coming from.  I got up to investigate, and discovered that one of my Valentine’s Day presents, a glass bottle of upscale maple syrup, had spontaneously exploded inside the cabinet where we had been storing it.  There was broken glass all around, and the maple syrup leaked all over everything else in the cabinet.  My boyfriend cleaned while I wrangled the cat to keep him away from the glass and the maple syrup.

When I went to my mother’s place today, she was involved in yet another passive-aggressive conversation with my brother, this time through the closed bathroom door.  She kept telling me to do stuff that she can no longer do and which my brother doesn’t do the right way.  Like going through the contents of the freezer to get rid of old stuff and putting the boxes and containers in some kind of coherent order.  She kept asking me to tell her what was in there, and when I answered with something that my brother had purchased that she thought was too old, she told me to take it out and throw it in the sink. We spent several long minutes that way, with me going through the boxes in the freezer, my mother sitting in her wheelchair at the doorway to the kitchen, and my brother listening from behind the bathroom door.  My mother kept using the phrase, “Well, if I could STAND UP, then I could …” to describe the simple things she wanted to do (like clean out the freezer), and I just got more and more melancholy the longer I stayed there.

Then I got home and got a phone call telling me that a friend of ours, a woman who like me is in her early 40’s, had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital.  Within the last hour I learned that she died.  This is like imagining someone hit by lightning out of a clear blue sky.  I am literally stunned.

The next week is going to be absolutely overwhelming.  I’m going to be conducting multiple class visits, speaking at a career day, and mourning the loss of two people who died unexpectedly.  I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

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