Why do people think that a library opening has to be accompanied by several hours’ worth of LOUD MUSIC?

AIGH!  Don’t pull all those books off the shelves!  Don’t push in that entire row of DVDs!

We haven’t been open for an hour, and this place is already a mess!

If you give us six months’ worth of programming in one day, then it’s only natural that the public will think we’ll have programs like this ALL THE TIME.

Whose bright idea was it to put the phrase “refreshments available all day” on the flyer for the grand opening?

Gues what time we ran out of refreshments?  Go on, guess!

Okay, kids, we’re glad you like the adorable stuffed seat cushions we provided for you.  Now STOP HITTING EACH OTHER WITH THEM.

OMG, I need a drink.

OMG, I need a nap.

OMG, I need earplugs.

OMG, I need to take these damned shoes off and soak my feet.