CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Boy #1 – I have known this kid since he was knee-high to a grasshopper.  He pretends to be in 6th grade to hang out in the children’s room, but he’s actually in 7th grade now.

Boy#2 – A teenager who hangs out in the children’s room so he can “supervise” his little brother.  Said little brother needs to be chastised by us on a daily (okay, sometimes hourly) basis by library staff for running, eating, making noise, and hanging around the computer when it isn’t his turn to use it.  Needless to say, Boy #2’s supervisory skills could stand to be improved.

Me – A middle-aged librarian with a ginormous brain, a good sense of humor, and limited patience.

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The boys approach me at the information desk in the Children’s room.

Boy #1:  Excuse me, Miss.  Can you get arrested for smoking weed?

Me:  Uh … yes, you can.

Boy #2:  See?  I TOLD you!

Boy #1:  But what if you’re not smoking it?  What if you just HAVE it?

Me:  Yes, you can get arrested for that, too.

Boy #2:  I TOLD you!

Boy #1:  But doesn’t it matter what part of the plant you have?  Isn’t there one part of it that’s legal?

Me:  *sighs*  Look, it’s ALL illegal.  If you have it, that means you got it illegally from someone else.  It’s illegal to have it, to sell it, and to smoke it.  At least, it’s illegal in New York State.

I leave the info desk to help a woman find some picture books about spring.  A few minutes later, as I continue to scour the shelves, I discover that the boys have followed me over to the picture book shelves to continue the conversation.

Boy #1:  So, can I get arrested if —

Me:  Oh my GOD!  Yes, you can get arrested!  This isn’t California.  In New York, all of it is illegal!

Boy #1:  Well then, I’m moving to California.

I laugh and turn back to the shelves.  Luckily I’m facing away from him when he asks his next question, so that he doesn’t see my facial expression change.

Boy #1:  So, Miss … did YOU ever smoke weed?

Hoo-Boy.

Me:  Um … I think maybe you guys should take this conversation upstairs now.

Boy #1:  I KNEW IT!!!

Oh, crap.  Wait … what the hell???

Boy #1:  I knew that she was going to throw us out!

*SIGH*

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