A colleague of mine, who I will refer to here as “Captain Bringdown,” just called me on the intercom to have the following conversation:

Captain Bringdown:  By the way, both of your copies of Fahrenheit 451 have been stolen.

Me:  *SIGH* Okay, just make them missing.  I’ll reorder some more copies.

Captain Bringdown: They’re just gonna steal them again, anyway.

Me: …  *click*